For the past 20 years, I have been in a relationship with myself.  Like I said here, I am a hopeless romantic who is romantically hopeless. I don’t know why I am romantically hopeless, I guess it’s cause I’m plump. Maybe because I scare guys off by looking too intimidating? I don’t really know why. I used to dream about how, when I’d get to high school, get a taste of how my first relationship would be or feel like. I used to dream about how my high school prince would sweep me off my feet. When he didn’t, I’d hoped I’d meet him in college, but I didn’t. But my teenage years are over, high school has been long gone and I’ve gone through 4 years in college without a guy.

After all this time alone, I’ll admit, I am scared of commitment. I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared cause someone hurt me once and we didn’t even share anything—it was purely one-sided and he was aware of how I felt, but he still played me.

I did the best thing, learned to live with it.

I realized it isn’t all that bad. I’ve always been independent. I’ve realized as well that marriage is not for everyone, and if I am one of them, then I’ll accept that. Right now, I’ll just enjoy this new chapter in my life.

Themes by Mademoiselle Kisty